La vita è bella

It's been months since I've written but life has a way of catching up with you and sometimes it takes a moment of unexpected change to make you walk slower and look around you. The best way for me to see is to write or paint, because seeing is believing and sometimes the only way to believe is to look at something over and over again and study it until it makes sense. Life isn't always supposed to make sense but neither does the way a rose blooms, yet it is intricate and breathtakingly beautiful. I've always been a fast pace kind of person who'd rather run the lake for exercise then walk it and enjoy the scenery. Maybe this is because I feed off of accomplishments, growth, and purpose...yet maybe it's time to take a step back, walk instead of run, enjoy the small things in life and be grateful and intentional about every moment. This past weekend taught me a lot about life. It taught me that things can change in a matter of seconds and it also taught me that almost anything can happen. Anything is outside of your control, but it doesn't have to mean you lose control of who you are and where you're supposed to go.

I used to know who I was supposed to be but now I know who I am, and it's me today. Me at this very moment...imperfect, cuddled up in bed with the TV on in the background, no makeup, no facade, no show, just me. Maybe instead of always trying to be who we are destined to be, we should just be who we are now...in this moment...in this beautiful life. Sure, I'd like to be more fit, more wealthy, more engaged in current affairs, and more organized... but who knows, maybe instead of always trying to be more I should try to be today. Maybe 100 today's = more than dreaming about tomorrow. Maybe we need more realists and less dreamers. Sure, dreaming is beautiful but if in reality, we don't see beauty, what happens when we're 50 and feeling worthless because our dreams never came true? Today is beautiful. Life is beautiful. Treasure it...take care of it. We are souls but we are given bodies, so take care of what you're given...dreaming of a cure for diabetes is beautiful, but dreams don't prick my finger 10 times a day and dreams don't count carbs or work out for you. It finally makes sense. So I'm going to bed, and today I'm going to use my senses more, smell more fall air, taste breakfast without dreaming about lunch, and see the beauty in everyone who crosses my path.