Instruction Manuals

I hate instruction manuals with a passion. I will do anything that is within my power to avoid reading them at all costs. In fact, when I think about it, I don't think I've ever fully read one instruction manual all the way through. In school, I always mess up on exams because I fail to read the question or instructions thoroughly. I'm going to make a list of things that I've never fully learned how to properly use just to give you an idea of how bad I am at this!

1. My Macbook (might as well start close to home - I prefer to ask my techno savy friends)

2. My Insulin Pump for my diabetes (a little closer to home)

3. How to make coffee on the side of the Folgers container

4. How to use my phone (I prefer to learn by doing)

5. Also, I avoid syllabuses at all costs (lets hope none of my Professors are reading this!)

ok, those are just 5 things that I never fully learned how to use. I prefer to learn by doing or better yet, find a friend who knows the ropes who can explain it to me. I've always been one for direct interaction - give me an owner's manual or instruction booklet and you lose me. In fact, 9 times out of 10, I'll just throw them out.

Thinking about this brought me to a certain realization yesterday. Again, I was in the middle of reading Jeanie Mayo's book, Uncensored (which is kind of an instruction manual but thankfully she doesn't advertise it like that, or else I probably wouldn't have even picked it up). Jeanie says that it's stupid to throw out an instruction manual and insist on running something your own way. Her reasons for this are as follows:

1. The manufacturer knows the best way to get the most positive results out of his product

2. The manufacturer made it, so he's the expert on how it runs best!

-then I added my own...

3. You can run something for a while but if you don't know the details as to how it works, you might not get the full potential out of it

4. Something might run for a while on "your terms", but it won't last as long or operate the best for the long haul

I came to the realization that this struggle has followed me and kept me captive my whole life. I always want to do things my own way, usually because I'm lazy and I hate reading directions. In my walk with the Lord, I'd rather sit and listen to someone tell me what the Bible says than sit down and spend a while reading it myself. This has danger written all over it. I believe that we're a generation that prioritizes ease over accuracy. It's easier to go and listen to a Pastor preach or Erwin McManus on a podcast instead of spending over an hour in the word. Then I realized... the Bible is our instruction manual to the Christian walk. If we don't spend time reading God's directions, we won't be able to run the way he intended us to. Just like my Macbook (that has one two many scratches because I failed to buy a case and clean it right), we as Christians can get messed up quick if we don't rely on God's ownership manual.

So since I know that I'm building my future TODAY, today is the day I start reading instruction manuals and spending more time in God's manual; after all, if I gave him my life, shouldn't I trust that he knows how to run it better than I do?

The Whole Me

There are no short cuts to personal growth and wholeness. Most people try to use other people to gain a satisfying life and to fill the emptiness that they crave so badly. We have to ask ourselves the question, if God created us, then why would he create us with an emptiness? Was it in fact put there for a purpose? Was this hole in our hearts the very means of creating intimacy between us and our Creator God? Jeanne Mayo said, "None of us like to feel alone. We do about anything to distract ourselves from the gnawing feeling in the pit of our stomachs. But in the middle of those times, we begin to buy into a toxic lie: 'When I find the right person, my life will be complete.' Too bad it's just not that easy. You see, the emptiness inside all of us is not a case of missing persons in our lives, but a case of incompleteness deep down in our own souls." Every relationship will be an unconscious attempt to complete yourself.

Wow, so I've finally realized, "if you try to complete yourself through another person before you do the hard work of cultivating strong self-esteem on your own, every relationship will eventually end with disappointment and pain." I have some goals for this summer and I think it's best if I put them in list form so they're easy to remember and leave an imprint in my memory:

1. I am going to continue to achieve a solid sense of who I am on my own.

2. Analyze my present life and look and see how I can make my relationships better.

3. Figure out what masks I wear and begin to take them off.

4. Take responsibility for running my own life and controlling my own destiny by seeking God.

5. Allow God to be the centerpiece of my life and as Corrie Ten Boom said, "When Jesus is all you have, Jesus will be all you need."

Last little quote that I want to leave you with, "When you don't feel like praying, talk to God about it." Legit eh?

More Faith

"Fear not that you might make a mistake in believing your dream. Fear rather that if you don't go for it you might stand before God and he'll tell you, you could have succeeded had you had a little more faith."

My First Step

The summer of 2010 has been a summer of new beginnings for me. However, I've learned that in order for something to begin, a step has to be made in that direction. Steps are the key to life's accomplishments, the very essence of change and success. Steps can go in any given direction; however, I prefer to step forward and keep my eye on what is in front of me. Perhaps that is why I have such a horrible memory! Perhaps I was made that way in order to forget the past so that I have nothing to hold me back from exploring the future. Erwin McManus once said, "sometimes the limitations you are willing to accept establish the boundaries of your existence." I believe in this quote; however, I also believe that it is a few words short. Boundaries are established at times by our Creator to embark us on the journey that He intends us to go on. I like to believe that my journey started when I came to know God in a deeper way last summer; however, now I see that everything that has happened in my life brought me to that point, and everything that has happened will carry me farther forward, much like an ocean current. God is that current, and we can fight him for a time, but he continually reveals his faithfulness in sticking with us, even if we try to swim in the wrong direction.

Stepping into this summer has proved to be the first step in a new direction for me. It has led me to Fort Lauderdale, to the very same street that my Abuelo lived on years ago. This is rather zany when you think about it! Maybe it is just a coincidence, or maybe it was a sign that years ago I was supposed to come back to this very place. I like to think that it was planned all along, by the master planner Himself. I'm here for my internship, or am I? Perhaps I am here for a deeper reason that is still to reveal itself as I keep stepping forward, into a new life, and deeper into the journey that God has set out for me. I'm excited to see where that road leads me!