I've learned that God's plans and blessings are often wrapped and disguised in unlikely packages. We often pray for things and fail to realise that the answer is sitting right in front of us and all we need to do is die to self and surrender. It is in this that we can come to find

Life In Color

"You can't escape that there are hopes and passions inside you, waiting to come alive. You know there is so much more you have to offer, though you don't say it out loud." Much like the words that Erwin says in his book, Wideawake and much like the words in Metric's song, did they tell you, you should grow up, when you wanted to dream?... Sometimes we dream so big that we ourselves think we're crazy and sometimes we get discouraged because we feel like every idea that we come up with is just a mirror image or bounce off of someone elses...

I hate cliche sayings; but the saying, there is nothing new under the sun really springs to life when I picture all of the dreams that have become realities for so many people. These dreams are often just an upgrade of someone elses thoughts or a bringing to life of someone elses ideas. It is in coming to this place that I've realized that discouragement doesn't get us anywhere, nor does sitting in our rooms rearranging things and hoping that one day we'll rearrange our lives or present circumstances. Sometimes we think our lives are defined by problems that we haven't dealt with or overcome yet; however, each one of us has something beautiful to offer the world. The miracle is not in doing it, the miracle is seeing it so that we can see what God sees.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if, when we saw a problem, we assumed we were to be part of the solution? Seeing a problem only lets you know where your limits are if you don't solve it. Problems, obstacles, and challanges can either become the markers of our limits and limitations, or they can become the springboard into a whole new world."

Sometimes in order to see and appreciate the good in life, we have to experience the bad and the ugly in order to see the contrast. Maybe in order to recognize a dream and a success, we have to experience a discouragement or a failure. We often think that pain leads to distruction of our souls, but I think we're wrong. I think that pain leads to need, need leads to seeking, and seeking leads to finding God and what he has for our lives. I like the "feel good mentality", I'm not gunna lie...I'd rather push things under the rug than deal with them because dealing with things is painful and scary. However, I know the process is worth while because it takes you from black and white to color. Seeing in color makes everything come alive, including your dreams, your loves, and your passions.

So my challenge today is to open my eyes and live life in color. It's never too late to be what you might have been or do what you have been called your whole life to accomplish...it's never too late to try something new, get out of your comfort zone, and truly live. It's never too late to dream and let those dreams come alive. It's never too late to stop being a victim of circumstances and start living the life that you were called to live.

Lense Craft

I used to want glasses, mainly so that I could fit in with everyone else in middle school and also because I wanted to pick a cool colored frame, yeah lame haha. I got to thinking today: half of the people in my class are wearing glasses right now, but all of us are seeing through "lenses". Why is it that we look at one another through colored lenses and judge each other based on our day? It's interesting how we have bad mood days, we tend to see people in a more negative light. Then there are those good days, when everyone is walking around with a halo.

The fact of the mater is, we define people based on our own perceptions of them. Not saying that in the words of Berry, "I control you, and you are under my power!" No, rather the way we see people is the way we treat them and if people are treated a certain way for so long, they develop the amazing social dynamic called the self-fulfilling prophecy. They eventually become the person they are percieved to be. It is insane to think that peoples behaviors actually write their own stories, utilizing their own expectations. Wow, expectations have power. Ok, so we subcontiously have expectations but contiously, what if we were to say "i'm going to counteract this problem and limit my expectations?" Just a thought...

I want to try to stop seeing people through lenses. I want to bust out of this role and limit my assessments...control my prohibitions. See the world through the eyes of Christ, as a beautiful work of art, just waiting to be looked upon by a viewer who sees the beauty and not the rough brush stroke; the entire image and not the scratch on the back of the portrait.

What Fills Your Bookshelf?

Lately I've been feeling like a taker. A taker of people's quotes, insights, and thoughts. All of these things are beneficial as a suppliment, but i've been taking them in as a solo source of nurishment instead of relying on direct inspiration and intuition from the soul nurisher. I started realizing it when I looked at my bookshelf at school last year, jam packed with books I used to pore into. Then I realized that every book was written about one book - The Book laying on my nightstand... to be picked up once or twice a day (and that was on a good day).

I find it odd that as I grow in my walk, I begin to lose the books and tune in to The Book. I remember hearing someone say once, "That man was the most spiritually intellectual person i've ever known and when asked what he read or studied, he answered, 'God's Word.'" Wow, that hit home to me. I've come to realize that we can feed off of sermons and speeches and insights till we're blue in the face, but just like a meal... we eat it, enjoy it, take it in, and then 4 hours later, we're hungry again and we've forgotten how good it tasted because it passed through us. The problem is, it was nothing more than regurgitated knowledge that did not incure a heart change. I have lived most of my life jumping from book to book and taking the easy way out and asking spiritual mentors for advice instead of thinking for myself and asking God himself.

So, i've decided to do a soul cleansing and keep the quotes as suppliments and the devotionals as snacks and dig into some meat, some hardcore Scripture cuh! That's what really changes you and it's only through the written word of God that He can truly speak to you directly. Sure, he can use others as instruments to pour into your life, but if you're not in The Word, how can you know if what they're speaking is truth and not just polished regurgatated leftovers? Just a thought... time to lose the books and pick up The Book.

Once I pick up the Word of God, I can pore into others and do more giving and less taking... it all makes sense now!

Instruction Manuals

I hate instruction manuals with a passion. I will do anything that is within my power to avoid reading them at all costs. In fact, when I think about it, I don't think I've ever fully read one instruction manual all the way through. In school, I always mess up on exams because I fail to read the question or instructions thoroughly. I'm going to make a list of things that I've never fully learned how to properly use just to give you an idea of how bad I am at this!

1. My Macbook (might as well start close to home - I prefer to ask my techno savy friends)

2. My Insulin Pump for my diabetes (a little closer to home)

3. How to make coffee on the side of the Folgers container

4. How to use my phone (I prefer to learn by doing)

5. Also, I avoid syllabuses at all costs (lets hope none of my Professors are reading this!)

ok, those are just 5 things that I never fully learned how to use. I prefer to learn by doing or better yet, find a friend who knows the ropes who can explain it to me. I've always been one for direct interaction - give me an owner's manual or instruction booklet and you lose me. In fact, 9 times out of 10, I'll just throw them out.

Thinking about this brought me to a certain realization yesterday. Again, I was in the middle of reading Jeanie Mayo's book, Uncensored (which is kind of an instruction manual but thankfully she doesn't advertise it like that, or else I probably wouldn't have even picked it up). Jeanie says that it's stupid to throw out an instruction manual and insist on running something your own way. Her reasons for this are as follows:

1. The manufacturer knows the best way to get the most positive results out of his product

2. The manufacturer made it, so he's the expert on how it runs best!

-then I added my own...

3. You can run something for a while but if you don't know the details as to how it works, you might not get the full potential out of it

4. Something might run for a while on "your terms", but it won't last as long or operate the best for the long haul

I came to the realization that this struggle has followed me and kept me captive my whole life. I always want to do things my own way, usually because I'm lazy and I hate reading directions. In my walk with the Lord, I'd rather sit and listen to someone tell me what the Bible says than sit down and spend a while reading it myself. This has danger written all over it. I believe that we're a generation that prioritizes ease over accuracy. It's easier to go and listen to a Pastor preach or Erwin McManus on a podcast instead of spending over an hour in the word. Then I realized... the Bible is our instruction manual to the Christian walk. If we don't spend time reading God's directions, we won't be able to run the way he intended us to. Just like my Macbook (that has one two many scratches because I failed to buy a case and clean it right), we as Christians can get messed up quick if we don't rely on God's ownership manual.

So since I know that I'm building my future TODAY, today is the day I start reading instruction manuals and spending more time in God's manual; after all, if I gave him my life, shouldn't I trust that he knows how to run it better than I do?

The Whole Me

There are no short cuts to personal growth and wholeness. Most people try to use other people to gain a satisfying life and to fill the emptiness that they crave so badly. We have to ask ourselves the question, if God created us, then why would he create us with an emptiness? Was it in fact put there for a purpose? Was this hole in our hearts the very means of creating intimacy between us and our Creator God? Jeanne Mayo said, "None of us like to feel alone. We do about anything to distract ourselves from the gnawing feeling in the pit of our stomachs. But in the middle of those times, we begin to buy into a toxic lie: 'When I find the right person, my life will be complete.' Too bad it's just not that easy. You see, the emptiness inside all of us is not a case of missing persons in our lives, but a case of incompleteness deep down in our own souls." Every relationship will be an unconscious attempt to complete yourself.

Wow, so I've finally realized, "if you try to complete yourself through another person before you do the hard work of cultivating strong self-esteem on your own, every relationship will eventually end with disappointment and pain." I have some goals for this summer and I think it's best if I put them in list form so they're easy to remember and leave an imprint in my memory:

1. I am going to continue to achieve a solid sense of who I am on my own.

2. Analyze my present life and look and see how I can make my relationships better.

3. Figure out what masks I wear and begin to take them off.

4. Take responsibility for running my own life and controlling my own destiny by seeking God.

5. Allow God to be the centerpiece of my life and as Corrie Ten Boom said, "When Jesus is all you have, Jesus will be all you need."

Last little quote that I want to leave you with, "When you don't feel like praying, talk to God about it." Legit eh?

More Faith

"Fear not that you might make a mistake in believing your dream. Fear rather that if you don't go for it you might stand before God and he'll tell you, you could have succeeded had you had a little more faith."

My First Step

The summer of 2010 has been a summer of new beginnings for me. However, I've learned that in order for something to begin, a step has to be made in that direction. Steps are the key to life's accomplishments, the very essence of change and success. Steps can go in any given direction; however, I prefer to step forward and keep my eye on what is in front of me. Perhaps that is why I have such a horrible memory! Perhaps I was made that way in order to forget the past so that I have nothing to hold me back from exploring the future. Erwin McManus once said, "sometimes the limitations you are willing to accept establish the boundaries of your existence." I believe in this quote; however, I also believe that it is a few words short. Boundaries are established at times by our Creator to embark us on the journey that He intends us to go on. I like to believe that my journey started when I came to know God in a deeper way last summer; however, now I see that everything that has happened in my life brought me to that point, and everything that has happened will carry me farther forward, much like an ocean current. God is that current, and we can fight him for a time, but he continually reveals his faithfulness in sticking with us, even if we try to swim in the wrong direction.

Stepping into this summer has proved to be the first step in a new direction for me. It has led me to Fort Lauderdale, to the very same street that my Abuelo lived on years ago. This is rather zany when you think about it! Maybe it is just a coincidence, or maybe it was a sign that years ago I was supposed to come back to this very place. I like to think that it was planned all along, by the master planner Himself. I'm here for my internship, or am I? Perhaps I am here for a deeper reason that is still to reveal itself as I keep stepping forward, into a new life, and deeper into the journey that God has set out for me. I'm excited to see where that road leads me!